Overcoming Fear

 

Overcoming Fear

My father taught me at a very young age to never allow fear to prevent me from succeeding. Nor should I allow it to cause me to be afraid of anyone, for fear was created so that others can control you and your actions. He told me in no uncertain terms to never allow anyone to control me through fear. I want you to be the same way – never allow fear to take control of your life and prevent you from being a success.

There are many ways fear can cripple you and not allow you to succeed. Let’s discuss them one by one.

1)      Setting Goals

If you are hesitant to set goals it could be because you’re fearful of failing, or you're afraid of hard work. Well get over it, we’re all afraid of failing, but you know what, failing is a part of life and you should learn from your failures. Always remember that if you don’t set goals and plan ahead, you’ll never be able to create a plan of action to follow your dreams and create a smart strategy for success.

2)      Follow your dream

Be true to yourself, understand your value and what you have to offer your clients and the world. Never worry or fear following your dreams to be someone better. Never worry about what other people think of you because you want something better than what you have currently. Your happiness is what is important. Follow that dream and never look back.

3)      Fear of never succeeding

The fear of never succeeding holds so many people back from success and achieving their goals. What the majority of people don’t realize is that the journey to success is filled with failures and errors being made that it’s not funny. While failure is embarrassing, it is never a waste of time and energy. One learns from their mistakes and rebuilds with different resources because the consequences of failing are not a bad trait.  The most successful individuals will tell you that they failed more than once along their journey to success. So don’t feel bad about failing. It’s the fear of failing that you must overcome and get past so that you can learn from the failure and enjoy the success. I ask my clients two questions when they tell me they fear failing. 1) What is the worst that could happen if you fail? And the 2) Will your life be over if you fail? The answer to both is not really. So if that’s the case, get on with it and strive to rebuild, and not allow yourself to succumb to the fear.

4)      Egotistical

Not everyone can enjoy success, in fact, many believe it is egotistical to succeed in business. I believe that if a person is successful, it is their right to be egotistical at their achievements. However, those who listen to crackpots complaining about the good fortunes of those who succeed have a fear of succeeding that they must overcome or they will never succeed. Never limit yourself because someone who is jealous told you to.

 Never asking for help

The biggest fear we all have in a business or in life is the fear of asking for help. Whether it be a fear of being stupid, rejection or having someone think ill of us for even daring to ask for help; or maybe admitting to a friend or family member that we are struggling in life, either way asking for assistance is part of life. The average person is more than willing to help but we as individuals must ask for said help and not be shy about asking for assistance. This one fear must be broken because if we don’t ask for help when we need it, we will never succeed in business or in life. Asking for help doesn’t mean financial, it could be asking for help in building a website, learning new software, or even technical assistance with social media skills. Your fear of asking for help means you are not interested in succeeding. Change that kind of thinking and ask for the damn help already.

6)      Can’t say no can ya?

We have all had a problem with saying no when someone approaches us for help. Unfortunately, when we don’t limit ourselves in saying yes, we limit ourselves in working on our own success. Balancing our time is important and any work for others takes away from our goals so you need to learn to say no. I am guilty of this one for sure. At one time in my life, I had a long list of things to do for other people which took away time from my goals and desires, which left me struggling to succeed. Unfortunately, it took me hitting rock bottom to learn to say no and think of myself and my wants and needs first before thinking of others. It is interesting then when you put your foot down and say no, all of a sudden, your phone stops ringing and those who took advantage of you in the past suddenly disappear from your life. When I said no to their requests, I put a caveat on their request with a monetary amount for my time and effort. WOW talk about hearing a person gasping for air and a reason why they couldn’t pay me to do their work for them. It truly was an eye-opener. So, as you can see there is nothing wrong with looking out for yourself and your financial needs when you say no to someone asking you to spend your time and resources to do their work. Look out for yourself and your survival first.

7)      Fear of Public Speaking

I have to admit I used to be so afraid of getting up and speaking in public that It made me physically ill. Then I realized the reason why I was so scared was that I was no prepared to speak in public about the subject at hand. This is when I decided to educate myself about the issues at hand before I entered a room or an event. Once I began to feel more confident about what was to be spoken about, and I knew what they wanted public speaking became much easier and my fear went away. Now I have no issues surrounding public speaking. The key to public speaking is being prepared. Write your speech beforehand and know the subject matter inside and out before you get behind the microphone and look out at the audience. It comes down to this, you want to speak with confidence and sound natural as an expert and that takes practice. Write your speech and practice it before a mirror, it’s as simple as that. Never fear public speaking because it is a way for you to get your name out there and have people remember you for your knowledge and expertise.

8)      Cold calling

There was a time when old school sales staff had to make so many cold calls to set up interviews or sales call meetings and that was an everyday occurrence. Oh, that was horrible especially when you feared making those calls. It was even worse when you had to enter someone’s office or business without an appointment to beg for business. I personally hated bothering someone without an appointment. If you didn’t make the sales quota for the month, you’d lose your job. So you learned to make those cold calls, didn’t you? Survival kicked in and you got over your fear of making cold calls. So, when it comes to your business, you’ll get over that fear and make calls in order to gain clients and sales right?

Author Elizabeth Kilbride is a former political operative, author, scriptwriter, historian, journalist. business professional, and creative artist, and life coach consultant. Ms. Kilbride holds a Masters in Criminology and a BS in Business Management who stepped out of the loop for a while, but who is now back with a powerful opinion and voice in the direction of this country and our economy. As a life coach, she is available to counsel individuals to enjoy their dreams and a better life. Ms. Kilbride loves to travel, photograph her surroundings and is also a gourmet cook who loves to garden and preserve food for the winter months.