Are you a people pleaser? Let’s change that for the better.

 

Are you a people pleaser? Let’s change that for the better.

As a former people pleaser, I can tell you that it can rob you of time, energy and productivity. Being a people pleaser crippled me to the point that I put my goals and dreams aside in order to take care of what they wanted and needed. It caused my gifts and talents be put on the back burner until I woke up and stopped the crippling attitude and thought only of myself and my needs. I also stopped wondering what people thought of me and my actions. I was always doing for others and never for myself, it consumed me and my thoughts and actions to the point that I wasn’t able to do for myself, because I was always trying to please others. Once I put my foot down and began saying no to their requests or started to ask for financial payment for my talents they were using, those free requests stopped cold turkey. It was interesting to say the least.

When I stopped pleasing others, I was able to go back to school, get my bachelors degree in business and went onto get my masters in criminology and now I am working on my PhD in Criminology. But the funny thing is once I stopped pleasing other people and put my foot down on my time being consumed with others thoughts and wants, my time became my own once again and I was able to achieve much more. We are given opportunities in life that can guide us in many directions if we are paying attention, unfortunately, when we are a people pleaser, we miss out on many of those opportunities. Those interruptions can also take use away from what God wants us to be doing in this life. It is also a difficult situation that prevents us from living a fulfilled life when we try to live within the traditional mold that society and others try to box us into.

Once I realized that I was pleasing others more than myself, and I stopped all that people pleasing stuff, I began to feel joy in my life once again. Don’t get me wrong, I still help people, but now it’s on my terms not theirs. Their wants and needs are not consuming my life 24/7 as it did in the past. Instead, I limit myself to a certain amount of helping time per week because I don’t want it to take over my life as it has in the past. Instead, I allow the joy of achieving my goals and dreams to consume my life which is so much more fulfilling. Yes, it is courageous enough to be who God wants us to be and to allow God to drive our wants and needs in life. It is also something that others seek in people they want to work with too, people who believe in God and who have faith in themselves and others.

I remember growing up in the church of God and things came easily to me, but once I walked away from God, things didn’t go as I had hoped and things got harder for me. That’s because I didn’t allow God into my life and allowed others to drive who I was instead of allowing God to drive me in my life’s purpose. If others don’t understand what I am saying, that is their problem not mine anymore. Don’t sacrifice one’s happiness and purpose in life just to please others. Who will regret not living a good life but you?

Author Elizabeth Kilbride is a former political operative, author, scriptwriter, historian, journalist. business professional, and creative artist, and life coach consultant. Ms. Kilbride holds a Masters in Criminology and a BS in Business Management who stepped out of the loop for a while, but who is now back with a powerful opinion and voice in the direction of this country and our economy. As a life coach, she is available to counsel individuals to enjoy their dreams and a better life. Ms. Kilbride loves to travel, photograph her surroundings and is also a gourmet cook who loves to garden and preserve food for the winter months.